


Jack the Crazy Cat Lady

by spiralicious



Series: Stargate 25th Anniversary [3]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Animals, Alternate Universe - Cats, Community: allbingo, Community: whatif_au, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Slice of Life, Stargate 25th Anniversary, Winterfest in July Bingo 2019, characters as animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 19:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20051356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiralicious/pseuds/spiralicious
Summary: Sam's latest forever home hasn't worked out. Jack had missed her anyway.





	Jack the Crazy Cat Lady

Jack only half listened to the heartfelt apologies and explanations directed at him. He absorbed the words he needed, “rare heart condition,” “unexpected death,” “no one in the family,” and “we remembered he got her from you.”

Sam for her part seemed very unconcerned. She lay on the counter like she belonged there, while Jack stroked her white fur.

She was such a good cat. They hadn't even needed to put her in a carrier to bring her in. Jack had thought George had been a good match, a real shot at a forever home, but sometimes it just wasn't meant to be, he guessed. 

He watched the bereaved woman who'd brought Sam back walk out the door with a sad little wave to her car and drive off. Satisfied that she wasn't going to come back in, he scooped up Sam and flipped the cattery sign to “Closed.” 

“Well, girl, can't say I'm happy to see you, but I sure did miss you.”

Sam bopped her head against his hand and looked up at Jack with that look of adoration cats have sometimes. Jack was pretty sure it meant they were up to something, but at the moment, he decided to believe it meant she missed him too. 

Normally, he'd get Sam into a solitary cage and start doing a bunch of paperwork and making vet appointments. Technically, she had a nice enough temperament to place her in the group room, but no one got in there without being cleared first. He had other plans for Sam anyway. It wasn't her first stay at Jack's place and this wasn't her first “forever” home to fall through. The first time he'd gotten her, she'd been a scrawny thing, barely old enough to even call a cat. Now, she was a few years old. Still young by cat standards, but old enough that adoption would be difficult. Besides, he liked her. Jack was keeping her this time. 

They walked to his office to get Jack's keys, Sam happily settled into his one armed hold. “Guess who's back, Daniel,” Jack called out. 

A deceptively large brown tabby appeared between two books on the shelf from whatever hole in space cats hide in. Daniel leisurely stretched, before leaping from the bookshelf to the desk. Seeing Sam, he raced over to Jack and meowed up at her. Jack bent down to let them sniff each other in greeting, but Sam didn't try to get down and Jack wasn't inclined to drop her. 

Daniel wasn't exactly Jack's cat. Except, that he was and Jack wasn't really ready to admit to it. Daniel was a good looking, but exceptionally fussy cat. And apparently as fussy as he was with Jack, he was an absolute holy terror for anyone else. After the fifth time he was returned, Jack unceremoniously took Daniel off the adoption website. He now lived an exciting life, hogging Jack's blankets, haunting Jack's bookshelves, and trying to steal Jack's coffee. 

Greetings concluded, Jack grabbed his keys and walked out the side door. Daniel walked dutifully behind him down the gravel walk to Jack's house. The special cases lived there. Sam had been one of them during her last stay. It was her forever home now. 

“Most of the gang's still here,” Jack explained as he unlocked the door. “Cam got a new home with a bunch of dogs. They send me pictures of him chasing 'em around. Teal'c, was Teal'c still here when you left? Anyway, his family is very happy to have him back, but he wanders off over here for lunch more often than he should. Oh, and that weird little one with the crazy fur, Zelenka, a family with a little girl picked him out. We'll see how that goes.” Daniel bolted through the door the second it was open. Sam was more patient, waiting until Jack had walked into the kitchen before demanding to get down and exploring. 

Most of the residents of “casa de Jack” were what he privately referred to as his misfit toys. They were all technically up for adoption, their profiles were on the website, and they made the rounds in the adoption pieces in the newspapers, but they were highly unlikely to get adopted. So much so, that Jack just moved them in with him since they were likely to be his for the long haul anyway. 

The first to greet them was Rodney. Jack swore the chubby little grey cat could read clocks and he was three minutes late to serve up lunch. A small, rumbly yowl was directed at Jack before Rodney threw himself onto the floor like he was dying. Rodney had very similar quirks to Daniel's, only somehow more so. He was the most food obsessed cat Jack had ever seen, which, if not bad enough, he also required a special food due to his exceptionally long list of allergies. 

Jack groaned. “Well, hello to you too.” He dished up Rodney's lunch as quickly as possible, while acting as put out as possible, in order to get food in front of Rodney before he started doing that thing where he twisted around on the floor yowling and flopping like a dying fish. While it was morbidly fascinating to watch, it seemed to summon one of the other cats, John, which started an entirely different sort of ordeal. 

Jack was saved, however, when Sam decided to wander over and say hello. Rodney was suddenly on his best behavior. When food was put in front of him, he ate like a cat, instead of shoving his entire face in the bowl. 

That was another reason to be happy Sam was back. When she was around, Rodney tended to sort of behave. Jack didn't quite trust him. He was sure the cat did things while he was gone, but he was never sure what and most of the things he wanted to accuse him of, shouldn't be possible for a cat, but... Then again, maybe Jack was just losing his mind. He could never be sure. 

Rodney occupied, Jack decided to do his mid-day headcount. John was where Jack expected him to be, taking up as much of the patch of sun on the bedroom floor as possible. He was a lanky black cat with serious trust issues. He did okay here, but never did manage to adjust to being someone's pet at his previous foster home or the one home that tried to adopt him. John lifted his head, eyes just barely open, to mew at Sam, who had followed Jack into the room. She trotted over to bathe his permanent cowlick. He let her, only stretching a little in response. 

Satisfied that John was the only cat in the room, Jack moved on in search of Teyla. She was a beautiful red toned cat with a sweet temperament. Her exotic looks were sure to get her adopted despite her age, aside from one little issue. She was pregnant. Jack wasn't sure how he or his furry housemates were going to deal with being overrun with kittens. She always hid in the most unusual places. Today, she was on the overhead storage shelf in the laundry room. 

“Well, hello there.”

Teyla looked down at him and tilted her head. She chirped softly. 

“We have a new house guest,” Jack informed her cheerfully. 

Sam meowed indignantly at his feet. 

“Would you prefer 'returning resident'?” Jack wondered when he started not thinking it was weird he had actual conversations with the cats. 

Teyla gracefully made her way down and the two cats stared at each other. Jack wasn't entirely sure what to expect. After several tense moments, the two got up and greeted each other. Teyla sauntered back towards the rest of the house and Sam went back to her post at Jack's feet. 

“Went well, did it?” Jack snarked at her. He had one last place to check. “So we've got a new kid on the block.” Jack walked to the garage. 

Two nights ago, animal control had dropped off a very large, incredibly furry creature. One of the officers had needed stitches. Jack had been hesitant to identify it as a cat. There had even been talk of genetic testing. It was now living in an extra-large dog carrier in his garage. Jack was hoping it would calm down before calling the vet in. Though the sight before him didn't instill any confidence that it would happen anytime soon. Currently, the beast was trying to eat through the wire metal door to the carrier. Jack was thinking of naming it Ronon. Sam smartly kept her distance. 

Satisfied that all cats were accounted for and no extra cats had made their way in, it was feeding time at the zoo. “Alright, kids, lunchtime!” Jack smiled at the small stampede that made its way to the kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "I'll be Home for Christmas" prompt for the Winterfest in July Bingo 2019 at Allbingo on Dreamwidth, Challenge 17 (characters as animals) at WhatIf_AU on Dreamwidth, & the Stargate 25th Anniversary Table: 13th – lace or textiles or fur.


End file.
